#10 | Instead of building a voice that sounds good, build a voice that feels good

We spend so much time trying to sound good. But what if the way to a voice you "feel at home with" is not through the sound – but through the feeling?

When we don't like how our voice sounds, we often don't like how it feels. Tight. Straining. Not open. Not free. And chasing the "perfect sound" can sometimes take us further away from the voice we're actually looking for – because every voice is built differently, and what sounds good on someone else might never feel comfortable in our own voice.

Introduction

But isn't it that we sing to SOUND good?

Yes, we do. But usually there are so many more reasons why we wanted to sing in the first place.

When we dig deeper – do we really sing only to sound better? In my classes I usually hear things like:

it makes me feel happy, I feel myself, I can breathe easier, I want to show myself, I want to be more present, I want to feel more confident…

So much more than only the sound.

In this blog post, I want to explore why focusing on a voice that feels good might actually help you build a voice that sounds good too. We’ll talk about why copying someone else’s sound can get in the way, because what works for one voice may not work for another, and why learning to control the voice through feeling instead of sound can support more ease, control, and confidence, and can be crucial when performing on stage.

The goal? A voice that feels comfortable, enjoyable, and like home.

Table of Contents

1. Why chasing the "perfect sound" can be tricky

2. Your voice is unique – and that's the point

3. But what is "MY SOUND"?

4. When we don't like our sound, we often don't like how it feels

5. Building a voice that feels good

6. Why feeling your voice matters – especially on stage

7. Try this

1. Why chasing the "perfect sound" can be tricky

Only looking for the perfect sound can be tricky. Because our voices are built differently. Maybe you like a sound from someone else, but if you try to recreate that sound in your own voice, it doesn't feel comfortable at all.

Depending on how our vocal tract is built, our voices sound different. And exactly this uniqueness is so beautiful.

2. Your voice is unique – and that's the point

On top of that (and maybe you have said this before) most people say: I want to sound like myself. I want to find "MY SOUND".

But what is this "MY SOUND"?

First of all, no matter what you do, you will probably always sound like yourself. Even if you're the best impersonator, your unique color will shine through.

Also, we don't only have ONE SOUND. Our voice is a bit like a mirror of our life – depending on how we feel and what we do (are we running? are we stressed? are we completely calm?), our voice will shift. Because depending on the activity of our muscles, the muscles in our vocal tract will also work differently, and this will affect our sound. But it will always be YOUR sound.

3. When we don't like our sound, we often don't like how it feels

I believe that when we don't like our sound, we often don't like how it feels – maybe tight, straining, not open, not free.

So building a voice that we like, one that sounds free, powerful, at ease and open, should really be about building a voice that FEELS free, powerful, at ease and open.

If your muscles feel comfortable, if the air can flow without too much pressure, if you have enough effort in your vocal folds but not too much tension, this will have a huge impact on the sound. On top of that, it will transport the joy and ease that you feel.

In Estill Voice Training, we say: "Listen harder to the muscles than to the sound." And I agree wholeheartedly.

4. Why feeling your voice matters – especially on stage

There are two aspects that are really important here, because unlike other instruments, we don't have a physical instrument in our hands:

• Control: Knowing what your muscles do and being able to control the effort and movements in your vocal tract will give you immense control – and this will leave you with so much more confidence, because you know how to help yourself when problems occur.

• On stage: When we're performing, it's often loud and and we might not have a monitor, so we can't hear ourselves anymore. In these moments, it's so important that we have control over our "instrument" by feeling it, rather than only adjusting by sound. Because when we can't hear ourselves, we can suddenly feel very lost.

Feeling the voice is not only powerful and important on stage, it can also be deeply grounding. It creates a sense of connection and belonging – a feeling of being home in your voice..

5. Try this

Next time you sing, maybe close your ears a bit and just FEEL what's going on inside your throat. Without judging the sound. Just creating a version and a feeling that feels open and that you enjoy.

And I'm pretty sure – this will not only feel good, it will also have an influence on your sound.

☕️ Let's have a coffee!

If this makes you curious, or if you’ve been feeling stuck in your breath or voice lately, I invite you to a free Coffee Call:

With this link, you can book a free 20-minute Discovery Call with me.

No pressure – just a talk over a coffee and some guidance. During this discovery call, we can discuss your goals and needs, and how I can support you best. I am excited to get to know you!

A great place to start to start:

I made a mini-course called "Happy High Notes" – it's less than an hour and has 3 helpful tips for singing high notes with more ease and freedom plus an explanation why they work in the body. The price is 14.99€, and if you want, have a look here.

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